The Sketch
One person or one pet
R250
- Hand-drawn portrait
- A roast written just for you
- High-quality digital file to share or print
Funny hand-drawn portraits
The Galleryof Regrets
Send us a photo. We hand-draw you looking ridiculous, then write a roast that’s painfully true.
From R250 · ready in 3 to 5 working days
- “Handsome from a distance. Preferably a long one.”
- “Dressed for a braai that is not happening.”
- “Smiling like the Wi-Fi just came back.”
- “Hair by load shedding.”
- “Looks like they say ‘I’m on my way’ while still in the shower.”
- “Smiles like the load shedding schedule was wrong in their favour.”
- “Their resting face has been declined by three banks.”
- “A face that has said ‘no worries’ and absolutely meant ‘worries’.”
- “Proof that love is blind, and also not great at parking.”
- “The friend who says ‘just one drink’ is standing in the middle.”
- “Not fat. Just a few shits behind.”
How it works
Four easy steps. No shame.
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Pick your portrait
Choose one person, a pair or a crowd. Add any extras you like.
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Pay
Pay for your order. It only takes a minute.
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Send your photos
Fill in a short form and add your photos. Clear faces work best.
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We draw and send it
We hand-draw it, write your roast and send it to you in 3 to 5 working days.
Some past mistakes
The Wall of Shame.
Every portrait is sorted by type. Tap the arrows or swipe to flip through.
Solo
Couples
Groups
Pets
Sample works from the wall. Names changed to protect the guilty.
The people behind it
Behind the pen.
Meet the artist
Live at the markets
Prices
Fair prices. Unfair roasts.
The Pair
Couples, best friends, or a person and their dog
R450
- Up to 3 people or pets, hand-drawn
- A roast written for the group
- High-quality digital file to share or print
The Crowd
Families, teams, hen parties
R850
- 4 to 8 people or pets, hand-drawn
- A roast for everyone in it
- High-quality digital file to share or print
Every portrait comes as a digital file. Want it on paper? Add prints and frames below. Courier is not included.
Make it worse. Extras.Add what you want. It all goes into your order.
Prints, frames and magnets Want one for every victim? Add as many as you like. Prices do not include courier. Posting is R120 anywhere in South Africa.
More people For The Crowd only. Add up to 2 more people or pets.
More extras
No extras yet.
Order with extrasExtras are added to your order. We can post prints, frames and magnets anywhere in South Africa for R120. Not happy with the drawing? Take it up with your face.
Live on the Garden Route
We’ll roast your guests in person.
We draw live at markets, weddings, work events, birthdays, hen and stag parties. Guests line up, the artist draws them (and roasts them), and everyone goes home with a keepsake and a grudge.
Where to find us next
- Mossel Bay to Storms River and everywhere in between
- Markets: ask where we are this month
- Private events: book us by the hour
Tap a town to select it.
Questions people ask
Questions from the nervous.
How does it work?
Pick your portrait, add any extras, pay, then add a clear photo and a few details: names, their worst habits, and how mean we can be. We draw the portrait by hand, write your roast, and send you a high-quality digital file. Prints and frames cost extra.
Which photo works best?
A clear face in good light, looking at the camera or laughing. For groups, make sure everyone can be seen. A blurry photo gets a blurry roast.
Can you draw couples, groups and pets?
Yes, all of them. Pets are the toughest to please, but the easiest customers.
Will I be offended?
Probably. That is the point, and we keep it brutal. When you order, pick how mean to go: Gentle, Spicy or Unhinged. We only roast what we can see in the photo and what you tell us, so nothing comes out of nowhere. Bring a thick skin.
Can you come to my market, wedding or event?
Yes, anywhere from Mossel Bay to Storms River. Send us the date, the town and about how many guests, and we will reply with dates and a price. For markets, message us and we will tell you where we are this month.
Is it a good gift?
It is the best birthday, anniversary or leaving gift for someone who can take a joke. The gift bundle comes framed and gift wrapped, with a handwritten roast card.
Can I add a message for the card?
Yes. When you tick “It’s a gift” there is a box for a short message, and we write it on the roast card.
Can you post it straight to them?
Yes, anywhere in South Africa for R120. Add their address when you order. Tick “Keep it a surprise” and we will not message them.
I do not know what they look like. Which photos do I send?
Send two or three clear photos of their face from your phone or social media. The more of their face we can see, the funnier the drawing.